052817__the start__

For years I’ve wanted to write down everything… the things I’ve seen, the things I’ve learned, my thoughts – I want to document my life So much has happened in my 27 years… I’ve been told I should write a book! This is where I’ll start though and we’ll see where it goes The hardest […]

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I know there may be people that will never understand why I have to write. It’s not an easy story to read. It’s wasn’t easy to live through. And it’s not an easy story to tell. But it’s my story. There are people in the world that have suffered through similar or worse things than […]

Read More 081617___fostered___

073017__no point__

I've made some poor decisions in my life's time… and I've made some pretty great ones too. Some have led to the loss of friendships, loss of partners and loss of opportunities but the best feeling is knowing that in the present moment, my view of my life, and my self, will always be in […]

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072417__the end__

When you look at your life from the end first, it's hard to not see your life differently. I don't know how else to see the world and see my life. It's changed me, changed my view on my life. Life happens in stages and cycles and spontaneous combustions. If your family is anything like […]

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071717__rock collector__

Are there coincidences in life? A few days ago I was talking to my Uber driver about my fiancé. I told him how challenging being in a relationship was and he told me that marriage was worse. I laughed because I knew he was joking and he did too. I asked him about his family […]

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070817__my perspective__

Maybe. What if. I tend to use these words a lot. I question everything now. I question every moment, every look, every smile. I wonder if people’s intentions are pure. And then I think about all the circumstances that make people who they are. I ask questions to fill in as much about the person […]

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070417__no control__

It’s hard for me to control my emotions and thoughts sometimes. I feel like my mind is racing through every thought a human could think over and over again. I wonder if other people think the way I do. That’s probably why I ask so many questions – I’m curious about people and the way […]

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062617__how does this happen__

I keep going back and forth about whether or not to write about this thing that plagued my childhood. I was driving back from Colorado Springs recently with my training partner and my way of thinking eventually brings up the question of why. Why this happened. How no one noticed it was happening. And if […]

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061017__you are strong__

I stopped associating people and emotions with material things the day my older sister went through my mom’s closet deciding what to keep and what to throw away. I remember how hard it was to let go of mom’s things for Marcy. She wept as she bagged clothes to give away and separated a shirt […]

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060917__letting go__

I didn’t celebrate my 12th birthday that year. Its hard to celebrate your existence knowing that someone else’s life no longer continues. After that day, I began to see death everywhere. Not in a dark reaper sort of way, but in that I see how fragile all life is. Every being ever created dies. And […]

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